what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
