The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
