You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
