oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
