I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
