She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
