So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
