dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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