i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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