hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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