i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
