I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
