dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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