I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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