so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize