i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
