no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
