is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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