Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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