When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
birth control should be required to get into college
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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