That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
