I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
