I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Drake has all the answers
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
