you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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