He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The convent might be a nice break from real life
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
