Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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