can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
