Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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