Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
