The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
