I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
