Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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