Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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