Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
