So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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