i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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