Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
