I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
