yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
