Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
