Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
