hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Pappa wants mamma naked
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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