Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
