i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize