i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
