just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Someone signed my nipple.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
