I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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