New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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