you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
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I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Can I color on your dick again?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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