It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
