I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
a search helicopter?!
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
