Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Your cock deserves a montage
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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