Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
wakey wakey hands off snakey
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
