I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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