last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
