she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
