I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
