i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
