is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
