planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
