I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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