Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We're too hungover to prance.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
