The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I miss vodka workout Fridays
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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