White coat. Heels.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
