Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
