Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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