Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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