the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
