i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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