booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize