Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
