holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
