How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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